Final Breitbartocalypse Report: Interview with Institutional Left

Here it is, our last report on the disaster that is the Breitbartocalypse. We've got more from our in-the-field reporter, as well as an exclusive interview with the Policy Director of the Institutional Left™:



Don't forget to check out our report from this morning.



And our report from last night.



The Breitbartoclypse touched down on the east coast at around 12:00am this morning. At this point, we've lost all contact with our in the field reporter and our secured location can no longer broadcast. Twitter remains one of the only tools of communications for individuals to get word out from inside the disaster zone. It appears that the last of the liberal media has crumbled. We've had all sorts of crazy rumors flying across the news desk today, which me made sure to report immediately and without the slightest verification.

We are now some 17 hours into a new reality, a conservative uptopia. The offices of the Institutional Left™ have been occupied by the Family and they are preparing their first initiative: the Texasification of all US School Books.

BREITBARTOCALYPSE: On the Brink

It's almost here...




Are you prepared for a post-breitbartocalyptic world?

We have secured a location just outside the expected disaster zone to broadcast out of for as long as possible. We'll have reporters in the field, and experts in the studio bringing you the most extensive coverage and best analysis as the destruction happens.

The country first learned of the impending Breitbartocalypse only weeks ago, when Andrew Breitbart, conservative talking head, warned us that the Institutional Left™ was on the brink of disaster.



Check Sum of Change tomorrow morning at 6:00am for our first report as the chaos ensues!!!

A Funny Or Die Economy

You gotta hand it to the folk at Funny or Die for this one. It isn't easy making the economy funny right now.

Frist and Bunning Join Call for Up or Down Vote

Who would have thunk it? Republicans are calling on colleagues to give us an up or down vote. We will start with former majority leader, Senator Bill Frist...

These filibusters... injure the administration of justice and our nation's political culture... As Senate majority leader... I sought to address Democrats' grievances while holding true to the core principle of an up-or-down vote. So far, my colleagues have rejected all efforts at compromise, and continue to insist on a new, 60-vote standard.

And Senator "I Object" Bunning:

[Health care reform has been] held up by a filibuster and cannot get a fair up-or-down vote. This unfair tactic is breaking years of Senate tradition...When a filibuster is instituted it takes a three-fifths vote to put a stop to it. The Framers of the Constitution were pretty clear when they required more than a majority to act. For example, they required a two-thirds vote to amend the Constitution. They required a two-thirds vote to convict and remove from office an impeached President or Federal official... The Framers also required a two-thirds vote to approve a treaty. Now, if the Framers meant that a super-majority vote was required [to pass health care reform] then they would have clearly stated so.

Oh wait, those are quotes from 2005, when Republicans were in power and trying to put more conservative, activist judges on the Supreme Court. Ooops. My bad.